You mail me money, tell me who you want me to send it to, and I’ll mail it to them.

Frequently Asked FAQs

WHY NOT JUST SEND MONEY DIRECTLY TO YOUR PAL?

It is inefficient and does not harness the incredible power of the globally collected internet.

HOW IS PAY-A-PAL EFFICENT?

Without Pay-A-Pal, you have to send the money alllll the way. With Pay-A-Pal, I receive the money, and then get it to its final destination.

HOW IS PAY-A-PAL BETTER?

Sophisticated AI algorithms determine the best address, envelope and postage to use. Do you really not want to be leveraging the best options for your payment?

HOW MUCH DOES PAY-A-PAL COST?

Pay-A-Pal takes only a 10% fee of the money you are sending. If it’s cash, we just take the cash. If it is a cheque, please make sure you make your check out to DELIGHTFUL CURIOSITIES, INC, OF BAYLOR, WV. We will cash your cheque, and then write a new cheque to your recipient on heavy 40lbs card stock. Because of this paper weight it is HIGHLY SECURE and IMMUNE TO SCAMS.

What is the future of PAY-A-PAL?

We envision the future of Pay-A-Pal as the premiere conduit for all communication and commerce on the internet. If you want to buy something on the internet, you will send a letter to us telling us what you want. We will go and buy it for you. Then we’ll send a letter back and tell you how much it was. Then you’ll send the money through an intermediary Pay-Pay-A-Pal, Ltd which will use the same advanced systems that we use at Pay-A-Pal to safely and efficiently send the money to us here at Pay-A-Pal. Then we will send you whatever you wanted to buy.

Or, say you need to talk to a doctor. You will send us a letter with what you need to talk to a doctor about. But, because we need to maintain your privacy (which is very important to us), you will first send a letter to an intermediary Montrose Vapor Redaction, which employs a team of specialists with short-term memory loss. We will then receive the privacy-enhanced version of your letter, and send that on to your doctor. Upon receiving a reply, we will send a letter back to the intermediary, who will match our reply with your original letter, and send you back your reply. This is simple and straightforward.

You’ll be able to pay a parking ticket, order your groceries, plan an international waters trip, buy a book, and even… fall in love.

The Pay-A-Pal Team

Roger Drainer, Founder & CEO username rogofeel password thisbetterwork

Roger was the king of his high school and captain of the football team. After three semesters of college he became a serial entrepreneur [spell-checked for business purposes] and he sees the promises of the internet as a bountiful land of plenty where no one can tell him he isn’t approved for another business loan and no one can tell him that she’s moved on.

Matchbook Drainer, CFO username matchbook password ilovemybigbrother

Matchbook loves his big brother Roger and would do anything for him and he is the signatory on all the paperwork for Pay-A-Pal and whatever Roger tells him to do he will do he promises no matter what. Matchbook is his nickname, given his history of emotional sparks.